Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
