Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize