How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
it's like heaven, but drunker
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
