trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I wish you could order shots online.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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