he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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