youre lurking in front of me
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
i out mim tonsoeep
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