thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize
