you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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