after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Randomize
