He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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