and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
