Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
