girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
