"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
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