I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
