Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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