I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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