So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Everclear isn't food dammit
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
