I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
