yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
