She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize