I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
