The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
