Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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