good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize