i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Randomize
