Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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