yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
