It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize