where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
