Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
