her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
