Can i not drive my cunt home
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize