Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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