i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
