Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
