I can't watch pbs sober anymore
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize