Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
