White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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