taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
