You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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