sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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