if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
