i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
