i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize