Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
