I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Ladies don't puke and tell
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