i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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