apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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