i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
