Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
