So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize