There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You pole danced in your parka.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
