So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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