i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
