So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
