ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
