So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
