6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
