Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
