I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
