Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Plan B is the new Plan A
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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