Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
