I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
