1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
