It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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