Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
