i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Randomize
