i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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