Umm I'm too high to move.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Randomize
