Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
She said her name was "party"
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
