Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
