hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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