if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
